Amanda Miller
Columnist
Lettuce Eat Local
“Wait! Now you’re a potato!”
Our three-year-old’s imagination is blossoming these days. Not only do his little plastic animals have all sorts of conversations and adventures, but often he also becomes an animal himself — or in this case, a vegetable. His other favorite thing is running, so as per usual, this game included that as well.
Although the actual rules are sketchy, the concept isn’t hard to grasp: someone is an onion, and since those make us cry, the other person has to run away. At some point, the player in charge (aka Benson) turns you into a potato and lies down. I thought it should be on the couch, both for comfort and couch-potato-ness, but actual location varied.
I’m not sure what inspired the potato portion; maybe he’s starting to grow into his Midwestern heritage already. To me, a pairing of potatoes and imagination seems simultaneously paradoxical and pertinent.
On one hand, is there anything more boring than a potato? It’s just some bland starch inside a tough jacket. Often potatoes are prepared simply, sometimes even only with salt; creamy and/or cheesy components are frequently added, and that’s nice, but if passing is polite, I’ll probably be doing that.
On the other hand, is there anything more versatile than a potato? Its lack of overwhelming flavor means it goes with anything and any cuisine. In fact, if my sources are correct, they are grown in every country on every continent except Antarctica. I was quite surprised to learn that China actually leads world production of potatoes, although less surprised to read that Germans annually on average eat between 100-150 pounds of potatoes per person. According to National Geographic, 15 out of the over 50,000 edible plants in the world provide 90% of global energy intake — and of course potatoes are one of those.
Taters’ unique starchiness lends itself to being mashed, roasted, boiled, fried, stewed, any and all the things. While I typically see dishes that are only potatoes + salt as a disappointment…I should also recognize that apparently they are intrinsically good enough to be eaten as simply themselves, not needing any elaboration.
Even my very own husband has been known to order a baked potato in a restaurant. I think it’s the silliest thing, especially with how rarely we eat out, since we can eat those at home any day for approximately 47 cents. But for him, it’s hard to be a meat-and-potatoes man without potatoes.
I should also clarify, I do like gold and red potatoes much better than russets, although I’m guessing russet potatoes are what you’ve been envisioning during this conversation. Yet even russets have their place. I’m rarely enthused personally to have them on the menu, but I appreciate making them for their versatility, economy, and crowd-friendliness.
They’re easy to make ahead of time or to pull together quickly, easy to make for picky eaters and those navigating allergies, easy to make into a meal with other pantry staples and for any meal of the day. If I look back over the past few weeks, we’ve actually been having them quite a lot — even today for family lunch.
I better be careful, or Benson’s gam might come true and we all turn into potatoes.
Baked Eggy Potato Boats
This is an ideal recipe for those of us who are on the fence about potatoes, because while they are the base, we can craft our personal potato boat to match our flavor needs. It’s a fun brunch-y take on a baked potato bar, but works for any meal of the day. Notice most of the ingredients say “etc” because it’s incredibly versatile…just like potatoes are.
Prep tips: A grapefruit spoon works great for scooping out the middles. If you have time, it’s fun for everyone to crowd around and make their own, but if you’re running short on time, just make some basic ones and people can still customize at the table.
4 large russet potatoes
olive oil or butter
salt, pepper, chili powder, creole seasoning, curry powder, etc.
6-8 eggs
½ pound cooked meat: sausage, bacon, ham, pulled pork, etc.
4 ounces cheese, shredded
diced veggies: bell peppers, green onions, mushrooms, etc.
extras: sour cream, avocado, ranch, hot sauce, salsa, etc.
Bake the potatoes: use your regular method; or fork holes in the potato, rub with olive oil, and sprinkle with coarse salt. Place on a wire cooling rack set inside a cookie sheet. Bake at 425° for 45-60 minutes, until tender. Once cool enough to handle, cut potatoes in half lengthwise. Scoop out the middles — saving the scraps for another use — making enough room for the egg but leaving enough edge to keep it sturdy. Drizzle a little olive oil or put a pat of butter into the hollowed out centers, and sprinkle with seasonings. Either crack an egg into each, or scramble the eggs and pour some into each potato. Top with sausage, cheese, and veggies.
Bake at 375° for 10-15 minutes, until egg is firmed to your liking. Finish with the extras as you serve.
