Rod Haxton
Guest Columnist
Even as Cincinnati’s winning field goal was going through the uprights in the AFC championship game, claims of a “stolen game” were already coming out of Kansas and Missouri.
Missouri Senator Roy Blunt has called for an investigation into a rigged outcome.
“You can’t convince me that we couldn’t win with Patrick Mahomes as our quarterback,” he said. “There’s something wrong with this picture and I intend to find out what happened.”
The Kansas City Star has obtained the recording of a phone call between Missouri Gov. Mike Parson and Roger Goodell in which the governor is pressuring the NFL commissioner to find more points for the Chiefs.
“Listen, Roger, the current margin is only three points. I think you agree with that, right? I think that’s a number that everyone agrees on,” said Parson.
“Yes, Mike, that’s correct,” Goodell replied.
“When you look at the game again, we should have had at least seven more points . . . maybe 14. All I’m asking is that you come up with four points. Just say there was a mistake and we’ll handle it from there,” Parson said.
“Mike, I can’t do that. There’s nothing on film which shows Kansas City should have more points,” Goodell said.
“Roger, this is Rudy . . . Rudy Giuliani. We’ve done our own investigation and are you aware that your scoreboards are manufactured in Venezuela and Hugo Chavez has been manipulating the outcome of games for years?”
“Rudy, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Goodell.
“I figured that would come as a surprise to you,” Giuliani continued. “Find us four more points and no one else has to know how corrupt the scoreboard system has been in the NFL.”
At that point, Goodell ends the conversation by telling Larson and Giuliani that if they have any further complaints with the outcome of the game they can speak with NFL attorneys.
However, the issue hasn’t ended there. Lawmakers from the two states held a rally outside NFL quarters in New York City on Tuesday.
Missouri Senator Josh Hawley greeted the crowd by giving a Nazi salute with one hand and a tomahawk chop with the other.
“Are you willing to do what it takes to fight for the Chiefs!” Hawley yelled before telling fans to “carry the message into the NFL headquarters and, if necessary, all the way to Canton.”
Kansas Sen. Roger Marshall reminded the crowd that, “We won this game, and we won it by a landslide. If you don’t fight like hell you’re not going to have a team anymore.”
Kansas Sen. Jerry Moran was noticeably absent from the rally. When contacted by the KC Star, Moran explained, “I’m not that much into football. I’m more of a curling fan.”
California state attorney general Rob Bonta has filed a lawsuit claiming that at least one touchdown, and possibly two, that Cincinnati scored against the Raiders shouldn’t have been allowed.
“The California AG asserts he can prove Cincinnati violated the rules,” says Kansas Attorney General Derek Schmidt who has joined the lawsuit.
“Personally, I didn’t watch the game and I have no idea what he’s talking about, but evidence has never been one of my guiding principles,” said Schmidt. “As long as Kansas City fans say they were robbed of a win, that’s good enough for me. Like I’ve always said, ‘Make the Chiefs great again.”
Meanwhile, legislatures in Kansas and Missouri are drafting bills that will address scoreboard fraud.
During a committee hearing in Topeka, Senate President Ty Masterson vouched for claims that Kansas City didn’t get all the points it deserved, though he couldn’t offer any proof.
“I just know what I know and I know that Kansas City was supposed to have more than 24 points,” said Masterson.
“There was rampant fraud in several Chiefs’ games this year and I’m not just talking about the players getting paychecks in the Kansas City secondary,” Masterson claimed.
During testimony, former Secretary of State Kris Kobach said he was aware of fraud occurring in 30, maybe 40, NFL games, though several scoreboard operators raised doubts about his data analysis.
Numerous fans added testimony about the lingering harm the loss will have on their emotional well-being, calling for a ban on the controversial concept of Critical Score Theory.
One wife gave emotional testimony about the impact of the AFC championship game on her household and called on the NFL to forever ban televising the game again or even mentioning the outcome.
“I don’t believe my 42-year-old husband should have to bear the pain of reliving that loss,” said a tearful wife. “He should not feel shame for something that he didn’t do and over which he had no control.”
Others Chiefs fans stood and applauded in support while others wiped away a few tears.
Sen. Mark Steffen, an anesthesiologist from Hutchinson, grabbed the microphone and assured fans he had the solution for coping with a devastating loss.
“Forget the so-called experts,” he said. “Ivermectin is the cure. In six months you won’t even know what a football is.”
