Young Aggie Learnin’

Laugh Tracks in the Dust

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One beautiful fall morning at dawn, a Missouri rancher and young son set out for a peaceful day of working the calves in their small beef herd. As they gathered the herd, the son’s eyes drift to the sun peeking over the horizon. He squints a bit, then asks his dad, “Dad, why does the sun always rise in the east?”

His dad ain’t ready for such a question and he, too, squints into the new day and replies, “Don’t rightly know, son. I’ve never really thought about it.”
His son nods, but his curiosity isn’t satisfied. He continues to look into the sky and he sees a red-tailed hawk soaring about his head. So, he asked, “Dad, how does that hawk stay in the sky, and why is it’s tail red?”
His father, more stumped then before, scratches his head and replies, “Don’t rightly know the answer to that one either, son.”
When they get their herd to the working chute and start running calves through, the inquisitive son asks ol’ Dad, “Why are some of our calves heifers and some of them steers?”

Without even looking up, the father gives a familiar answer: “Don’t rightly know, son. It’s a mystery. Pay attention to the cattle.”

But, the kid’s persistent, if nothing else, and poses another thorny question. “Dad,” he says. “Why do some of our cattle have horns and some don’t?”

His patient father answers, “Can’t rightly say, son. The answer’s not on the tip of my tongue.”
His son falls silent for a moment and has an inner feeling like he might be annoying his father with all his questions.
But, after some time, he turns to Dad again, a bit more hesitant this time, and asks a final question.
“Dad, do you mind me asking you all these questions?”
His father, watching the last calf’s heels leave the chute, glances over at his son with a smile and says, “Course not, son… If you don’t ask questions, you never learn nothin’.”

***

Sometimes the random conversation at our morning Old Geezer Coffee Klatch yields a good humorous story for my column. Here’s a story, true as told, from ol’ Howie Didditt.

Howie said back in the days of his callow teen youth — when farm kids pretty much lived their lives without helicopter parents constantly worrying about their kids’ safety — he and a buddy gained access to some dynamite sticks and fuses being used locally to fracture limestone for fence post holes. This wuz in north-central Kansas.

They decided it would be fun and interesting to try out some partial dynamite sticks in various ways. So, they tried quarter sticks around tree stumps, under rubbish piles, etc. The dynamite always gave off a satisfying and resounding blast, but did little real damage.

So, Howie and his buddy decided to up the ante. They found a critter hole in the dam of a family farm pond and agreed it would be fun to dynamite the hole and find out what kind of critter wuz inside. And, they decided it would take an entire stick of dynamite to do the deed.

So, they pushed the dynamite stick way back into the hole, carefully unrolled the fuse and lit it — then ran for cover. It’s a good thing they did because Howie said the ensuing blast blew a gash clear through the pond dam, threw dirt and rocks over a wide area, and the water gushed out of the pond and headed downstream.

Howie said that’s when he got a sinking feeling in his gut and knew he wuz in big trouble. And, he wuz correct. His dad was not a tiny bit amused by his son’s dynamite experiment. And, he was less amused that summer wuz coming and the pasture pond had been reduced to nuthin’ but a puddle. And, fixing the dam would be expensive.

In short, Howie’ teen dynamiting days were over. And, he never found out what kind of critter had made the hole in the pond dam.

***

By now readers probably know that president-elect Trump has selected Brooke Rollins to be the Secretary of Agriculture in his new administration. Curious about her, I found this pre-politics information about her on Wikipedia:

Rollins was raised in Glen Rose, Texas, and attended Texas A&M University, where she graduated cum laude with a B.S. degree in agricultural development in 1994. While at Texas A&M, Rollins was the first female to be elected student body president. She also served as the speaker pro tempore of the Student Senate, the chair of the Texas A&M Judicial Court, and was a Cotton Bowl Classic queen. She went on to earn a Juris Doctor from the University of Texas School of Law, graduating with honors.

As a youth, Rollins was a leader in her Future Farmers of America Chapter and in her 4-H Club. Her family is a generational farming family. As a parent, she guided her four kids in their show cattle careers.

Only time will tell about her tenure as ag secretary, but at least she has a direct farm/ranch background and an ag development education. That’s more than can be said about most of the recent USDA secretaries

***

Here are words of wisdom for the week — from bumper snickers:

“America is the only nation great enough that even her haters won’t leave.”

And, “The richest person is not the one who still has the first dollar he/she ever made, but it is the person who still his/her first friend.”

I hope your Thanksgiving Day wuz a good ‘un — with lots of family, friends, food and fun.

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