Once upon a time a Cattle Baron, on the advice of his court consultants, turned out six yearling bulls in his cattle country kingdom. In no time at all The Six Dwarfs spied a Snowy White heifer in heat. For Dopey it was love at first sight. He broke into a full gallop, urging his fellow dwarfs to follow him, “Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work we go.” The six bull calves followed the Charolais heifer everywhere she went, but darned if they knew why.
In Dopey’s case, love was blind. The young dwarf of a bull backed off about a hundred yards took a run and tried to impregnate Snowy White in her ear. Dopey didn’t know which end he was supposed to be making love to. He was willing but not able.
Bashful on the other hand, knew quite well what was expected of him but he was saving himself for just the right bovine. Free sex without a commitment was beneath him. The matrons of the royal court found him to be a bashful breeder.
Happy was a swell bull and a real gay fellow. He was an admirer of males but not a follower of females. Happy was happy just hanging around with his fellow dwarfs.
Grumpy didn’t like all the competition for Snowy White’s affection. He wasn’t into group sex either. The natural urge for Grumpy was to joust with any bull who tried to make Snowy White their love object. He was the jealous type.
Meanwhile back at the castle, the Cattle Baron spent most of his time sitting on The Royal Porch watching the antics of the Six Dwarfs and growing increasingly worried. The Cattle Baron, like everyone else in the cattle business, was caught in a cost/price squeeze. If he didn’t get a calf crop the terrible King would come and take away Snowy White and all his other cows too in the Royal cattle truck.
Sneezy sure didn’t help the pocket book. He spent most of his time in the sick pen eating expensive alfalfa hay and overdosing on antibiotics. Sneezy was a hypochondriac dwarf of a bull. When the birds and the bees were explained to Sneezy something got lost in the translation. He got stung by a bee once and thought he was expecting. He needed plenty of bed rest.
So did Sleepy it seemed. Snowy White would never leave a male heir if left up to Sleepy. He showed no interest at all in coming out from under his shade tree to breed Snowy White. His sex drive was in neutral and it was said of Sleepy that one day his ship would come in and he’d be too lazy to unload it.
After Snowy White came back in heat three months in a row the Cattle Baron became desperate. While shaving one morning the Baron looked into his shaving mirror and said, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, these Six Dwarfs won’t get my cows bred by fall.”
Much to the Baron’s surprise the mirror answered back sarcastically. “There were seven Dwarfs you will recall, you better call Doc to breed them all.”
So the Cattle Baron had his cows bred artificially and lived happily ever after.
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