A rural lass in college at my alma mater, Bea Wilder U., got stuck in a modern art class as one of her pre-requisites. From the get-go, she knew she was out of her element. The final exam was to bring to the class a prime example of a modern sculpture that was sculpted by an untrained artist.
The co-ed thought and thought about her art class final exam over the weekend when she went back to her parents’ ranch. Finally, while cruising one of the pastures in the family ATV, she hit upon the perfect art object that fit her professor’s requirements perfectly.
On the afternoon of her modern art class final exam, she put on the table a curiously-shaped snow-white sculpture, along with a hand-printed sign explaining that the sculptress had made it entirely with her tongue.
That piqued the interest of the professor, along with everyone else in the class.
After examining the white sculpture from every angle, the professor proclaimed that the piece was “excellent, with all facets of the piece blending perfectly, smoothly, and seamlessly into a eye-pleasing whole.”
Then the prof asked the co-ed, can you tell the class who is the talented sculptress who produced this fantastic modern art item?”
To which the co-ed proudly answered, “My Angus cow. That’s her salt block, and it took her months to create it.”
***
A farm couple decided after decades of living in the same old farmhouse that it was time to do some interior decorating.
So, to make sure they did it right, they hired a professional interior designer to make suggestions.
The couple decided to start with re-doing the bathroom and the kitchen.
The interior decorator did a walk-through, then sketched out some possibilities, and the three of them sat down at the kitchen table to review the suggestions.
The farm wife liked all the new concepts presented, but observed, “I see a place for about every necessary item, except for the bathroom scales. Where would you suggest the best place to put the scales.
Without even a pause, the interior decorator replied, “In front of the refrigerator.”
I think the old home place is still the same ol’, same ol’.
***
A kindly Missouri reader emailed me this humorous rural story that goes back to the Model T Ford days.
The rural countryside had been inundated with a big rain and the roads were barely passable.
Those were the days when many salesmen traveled the backroads of hopes of finding a rural “sucker,” er … customer, to sell their wares to.
Well, inevitably one of those salesman came to a big puddle in the middle of the road. He stopped short of entering the puddle and spied a farmer close by picking up rocks in his field using his team of work horses, a well-matched team of Belgians.
So, the salesman asked the farmer, “Excuse me, sir. Can I get through this puddle without getting stuck?”
The farmer replied, “All I can tell you is the last two who tried that puddle had no problem at all.”
The salesman thanked him, gunned his Model T, and immediately got mired down up to the running boards.
He yelled angrily at the farmer, “You said I could go through safely without getting stuck.”
To which the farmer nonchalantly replied, “No, I said the last two who tried it got through with no problem. They were my pair of domestic ducks. However, lucky for you, I can unhitch these horses and pull you out for $5.”
***
I’ll give you an update on my wife Nevah’s recovery from her setback from hip replacement surgery.
She’s apparently on the mend and is getting much more agile in hobbling about on her walker. Her docs all say “just keep it up for a few more weeks and we’ll see a good outcome.” So, that’s what we’re planning on and hoping for.
We’ve had plenty of help with family, good friends and neighbors and our daughter from Tennessee is arriving today (May 24) and will be here through the weekend.
I finally got caught up on mowing the neglected yards and I even got tomatoes, peppers, spuds, sweet potatoes, onions, and green beans planted in the garden. Much less than previous years, but enuf for us if weather lets it happen.
Words of wisdom for the week. “Lifesavers are the best snack to get you into old age.” Have a good ‘un.
