In these modern times, anyone with a pulse knows that communication amongst ourselves has changed. With the advent of the internet, emails, and a plethora of social media platforms too many to keep track of, it seems a natural spinoff is that folks wanting to save time and effort communicating have invented abbreviations (acronyms).
I think the use of these communications shortcuts was started by the computerized younger generation in their effort to squeeze more “stuff” into their always-in-a-hurry lives. Quickly, other age groups jumped on the abbreviation bandwagon.
Soon, we began seeing and interpreting such acronyms as ASAP (As Soon As Possible), BOLO (Be On Lookout), LMAO (Laughing My Arse Off), YOLO (You Only Live Once), IDK (I Don’t Know), BTW (By The Way), IMHO (In My Humble Opinion), NOYB (None Of Your Business), FUBAR (Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition), KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid), and EG (Evil Grin).
***
That got me to thinking that folks in agriculture are squeezed for time, too. They’ve no time to waste trying to make a living and grow food, fiber, and fuels for everyone. And, they need easy ways to vent their frustrations.
So, I’ve tried to think of useful “Aggie Acronyms” that will streamline aggie communications. Here’s a few that I’ve thought of off the top of my head.
• NLITC — Need Lift Into Tractor Cab
• BDIF — Broke Down In Field.
• FDCO — Fence Down Cows Out
• HGTT — Hauling Grain To Town
• FFT — Fixing Flat Tire
• MADT — Markets Are Down Today
• MAUT — Markets Are Up Today
• BSIWF — Big Storm in Weather Forecast
• BLFS — Be Late For Supper
• FWG — Fixing Water Gaps
• WCT — Working Cattle Today
• SGST — Son Got Speeding Ticket
• ROOS — Ran Out Of Seed
• CGTS — Calf Got The Scours
• VKAC — Varmint Killed A Chicken
• CGM — Cow Got Mastitis
• CGCE — Cow Got Cancer Eye
• HHUIF — Horse Hung Up In Fence
• SBBST — Selling Black Baldy Steers Today
• BINPWH — Bull In Neighbor’s Pasture With Heifers
• BETD — Bulls Expensive These Days
• TSFF — Treating Sheep For Footrot
• GTTFP — Going To Town For Parts
• SIMWP — Stuck In Mud With Pickup
• CICGOA — Crop Insurance Cost Going Up Again
• WCEPFB — Will Congress Ever Pass Farm Bill
• DD — Danged Drought
• NVB — Need Vacation Badly
***
Now, I got to thinking about old folks like me. Time is really important to us, too. The actuarial tables tell the tale. Therefore, we can use the following “Aging Acronyms” to save us precious time.
• ATD — At The Doctors
• BFF — Best Friend’s Funeral
• BTW — Bring The Wheelchair
• BYOT — Bring Your Own Teeth
• FWIW — Forgot Where I Was,
• GGPBL — Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low
• GHA — Got Heartburn Again
• ETAT — Every Thing Aches Today
• AAUA — Arthritis Acting Up Again
• TFT — Texting From Toilet
• GBMT — Good Bowel Movement Today
***
An obnoxious cattleman was attending his association convention. After one contentious meeting, he got into the hotel elevator and vented to another rider, “I’ve been insulted. I just overheard our president say he’s offer me $100 if I’d resign from the board of directors. I’m trying to decide what to do next.”
His companion replied, “I’d hold out for $200.”
***
My words of wisdom for the week are: “The easiest search in the world is your search to find someone to blame.”
Have a good ‘un.
