Now’s the time of the year when junior livestock shows are happening all across the U.S. Such shows, be they statewide competitions or local jackpots, are where future livestock industry leaders and breeders are developed.
And, livestock shows can also be a source of humor. And, I’ll relate one such incident of humor that I witnessed decades ago.
The prime players in this little livestock show saga were Myris Snipedown and Dr. Eiken Flert.
Snipedown, was a prominent figure in the agricultural press corps, and a well-known, sly practical jokester.
Eiken was a livestock specialist within the land-grant university system and he’d just earned his PhD degree and it weighed rather heavily on his shoulders. Eiken was also what the ladies call a “hunk” — a well-built, handsome, always-smiling “talker” and a confirmed bachelor in his late 20s.
On the day of the practical joke, Eiken wuz directing activities within the beef show ring at a state-wide junior livestock show. He escorted the show-persons and their steers and heifers into the ring and got them situated in the arena the way the judge wanted. And, he missed no opportunities to impress, or score points with, the young show-ladies leading the animals or their mothers crowded along the sideline rails.
Meanwhile, Myris stood on the sidelines for several hours and watched this he-she thing unfold — and he hatched his practical joke.
When the show came close to reaching its pinnacle with the selection of the grand champion steer, Myris quietly left the show arena and walked a few hundred yards to the show’s headquarters, which had the ability to send public address announcements to any place on the show grounds.
Myris coerced a close friend of his to time the springing of the practical joke perfectly for maximum effect. Then he returned to the arena sidelines and innocently watched his joke unfold.
When the judge had all the breed champion steers lined up in the championship drive, Dr. Flert was doing his level best to entertain all the nearby women.
And then, just before the judge slapped the champion steer on its rump, this announcement boomed into the arena from the public address system: “Attention, Dr. Flert. Attention Dr. Flert. Your wife says to please bring diapers and a box of formula home after the show.”
I’ll let your imagination lead you to your own conclusion about how this practical joke ended, but I assure you, it wuz humorous for everyone but one embarrassed new PhD.
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The “holy grail” for global energy users is an endless, non-polluting method to generate electrical energy. That’s the purpose of solar, wind, hydro and nuclear electric projects, but none even come close to being the “holy grail.”
However, now I read in a Popular Mechanics online story about the real possibility of geothermal energy becoming a perfect energy source.
Here’s the gist of the story. The inside of the Earth is close to 10,000 degrees F. hot. And it won’t cool down for billions of years. Tapping into that heat by drilling deep into the Earth’s crust would yield a gift of virtually limitless heat energy.
The article says the entire world’s energy needs could be fulfilled for more than 20 million years if we could capture just 0.1 percent of the geothermal bounty lying a few miles beneath our feet.
Now, according to the article, the trick is how to drill a hole in Earth’s crust 12-13 miles deep where the temperature is close to 950 degrees, which is hot enuf to provide a practical source of geothermal energy.
The article sez that regular drilling is not feasible, but a new technique using laser energy beams can vaporize deep-seated rocks and let geothermal energy be harvested. At that point the geothermal heat could spin existing power plant turbines to produce limitless electricity.
I hope this new source of energy proves out. But, a word of caution, if the hole is drilled clear through the Earth to China, the electricity coming to the U.S. will probably carry a reciprocal Chinese tariff.
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Here’s a little gripe of mine. I work crossword puzzles to keep my old mind exercised. However, recently I wuz getting nowhere with a couple of crosswords — and then I realized that the word clues weren’t for the crossword I wuz working.
That’s irritating and I don’t understand how it happens.
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A recently lost another good friend. Mrs. Willie Jay, from Mt. Vernon, Mo., known to her friends as Connie, went to her eternal reward. She wuz around 90 years of age and had been married for 70 of them. Hers wuz a happy, productive life. RIP, good friend.
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Words of wisdom for the week: “Stop doing what you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Then look and listen for the signs of Mother Nature waking up from her long winter’s nap.
The signs are on the tree buds, in the new dandelion emerging, in the robins hopping in the yard, and in the cardinal’s distinctive warbling song carried to your ears by a sun-warmed breeze. Spring is closer to being sprung.”
Have a good ‘un.
