Our home at Damphewmore Acres got spruced up a bit this spring. Perhaps you didn’t know, but ol‘ Nevah has gotten into quilting big-time since her retirement five years ago.
She’s made personal bed spreads for our beds, personal quilts for all our grandkids and daughters, and even a special Crown Royal quilt for our friend ol‘ Claude Hopper. He saved up a bunch of velvet bags from his Crown Royal booze bottles and hired Nevah to make him a unique quilt. It was quite beautiful.
But, this winter Nevah got interested in wooden barn quilts and made us a beautiful barn quilt, which got hung on the front of our home last weekend right above our double-garage doors. No one can come to our home and miss the quilt unless they’ve got their eyes shut.
The quilt is purple, white, and gray and is emblazoned in the middle with the mascot of our favorite university, my alma mater Bea Wilder U. I love it!
***
A wealthy industrialist is riding his fancy new Harley down the highway when he decides he needs to wet his whistle and have a little fun with the local yokels. The next small town sports a roadside bar with lots of motorcycles parked outside.
So, he strolls into the bar, smooths out his leathers, and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy at the other end of the bar who is obviously a cowboy — hat, boots, spurs, pearl button western shirt, stained blue jeans. “That’s who I’m gonna have fun with,” he says to himself.
So, he shouts to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the cowboy at the end of the bar.”
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the cowboy gives the industrialist a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally boisterous voice.
This response infuriates the money man, so he once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the cowboy.
As before, this does not seem to bother the cowboy at all. He smiles big at the industrialist, tips his Stetson, and gives the two-thumbs-up sign.
Now really mad, the money man, orders the third drinks around for the house, but purposefully leaves out a free drink for the cowboy.
But the cowboy responds again with smiles and good cheer.
Finally, the money man asks the bartender. “What’s the matter with that cowboy at the bar? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar, all 100, of them except him, and all that goofy cow puncher does is smile and nod ‘thank you.’ Is he nuts?”
“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns the place.”
***
I had to stop writing for awhile because I smelled the sweet aroma of fresh-baked cookies coming from the kitchen.
Good ‘ol Nevah is baking a batch of peanut butter, chocolate chip cookies and I just had to eat two warm ones and wash them down with a little glass of cold milk.
Now, that’s good afternoon eatin’.
***
I wuz afraid that our blooming peach and apricot trees might have gotten nipped in the bud by last night’s temperatures. But, I think they may have survived becuz it wuz only 34 degrees this morning. Now, if I can just get them through tonight without frost damage, I have a decent chance at a fruit crop this year. But, of course, it’s still March and Mother Nature could still throw me a killing frost.
What we really need is some of the run-off rains that the folks in Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri have been getting. However, we don’t need the tornadoes.
***
Two rural deputies respond to a domestic disturbance call at a farm home near their town. What they encountered at the scene causes them to radio the sheriff for advice on the action they should take.
The call went like this: “Sheriff. We have a case here. A woman has injured her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean. What should we do?”
“Have you arrested the woman?” the sheriff queried.
“No sir. The floor is still wet and we think we may need backup.”
***
My ATV is in the shop for clutch repair and routine maintenance. I miss my ride. I’m at an age when riding is preferable to walking.
***
I mentioned home cooking this week, so I’ll end this column with some wise words about cooking. Laurie Colwin said, “The table is a meeting place, a gathering around, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivity, safety and satisfaction. A person cooking is a person giving. Even the simplest food is a gift.”
Amen to that. Enjoy a hearty meal with your family and have a good ‘un.
