Several times a week, while driving to the Old Geezer Gang Coffee Klatch, I drive past the elementary school in Riley. Out by the curb is an electric sign that gives passers-by a daily variety of messages about school happenings.
Almost every day, the sign will post a “Happy Birthday” message to some student and will list the student’s given first name. Frequently, I am mildly amazed at some of the modern creative first names that I read.
Eventually, it dawned on me that, in the main, modern first names differ significantly from the common first names of folks I wuz familiar with early in my life — back in the 1940-70s. Thinking back 60-70 years ago, I’d guess I’d classify those common first names as pedestrian, perhaps cumbersome, not particularly creative or unusual. Just functional.
Then my old mind got to conjuring up the first names — and some nick names — of folks I grew up with, both adults and kids. I’m not going to attempt to give a comprehensive list of children’s modern first names. But, I am going to list common first names of folks in the rural community where I grew up in southeast Kansas.
I’ll start with the first names I recall of adult couples. There were: Claude and Thelma; Delbert and Betty, Percy and Katherine, Herbert and Eileen, Ralph and Lena, Elmer and Estee, Harry and Ida, Sigel and Juanita, Austin and Orlena, Otis and Stella, Vol and Zelma, Lester and Edith, Adolf and Ruby, Burl and Ione, Harvey and Winnie, Pete and Isla, Warren and Vera, and Reuben and Alice..
Men’s names I recall are: Clarence, Homer, Ancel, Bertie, Odie, Pearl, Marion, Myron, Buck, Duard, Ebenezer, Isaac, Stanley, Mott, Forrest, Alvie, Theodore, Archibald, Henry, Hiram, Harley, Elwyn, Leonard, Rex, Virgil, Harlan, Ike, Eldon, Freeland, and Weldon.
Women’s names I recall are: Bertha, Gertrude, Pauline, Ethel, Sadie, Margaret, Gloria, Lucille, Doris, Margery, Florence, Norma, Lela, Nola, Nora, Claudette, Fern, Esther. Billye, Heloise, Charlene, Hazel, and Inez.
Men’s nicknames I recall are: Peanut, Fun, Bunt, Rabbit, Smoky, Chub, Gabby, Duke, Duck, Frog, Toad, Butch, Pus, Bun, Monk, Bud, Buddie, Glee, and Buster.
Well, that wuz a fun trip down memory lane. It shows that names change with the generations.
***
A farmer is having marital problems, so he decides to see a therapist. The farmer says, “I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife loses her temper with me for no reason.”
The therapist thinks for a moment, then says, “I think I have an answer for your problem. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish, but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the farmer goes back to the therapist looking fresh and reborn. He says, “You know, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started berating me, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and after a few minutes she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”
The therapist says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”
***
Three sons with the last name of Hyden inherited their father’s ranch and extensive cattle enterprise. The brothers were amicable with each other, but they were having difficulty in deciding what name to give their new one-third-each ranch.
One brother suggested “3-4-1 Ranch.” His brothers agreed his suggestion wuz rather creative, but didn’t trip their trigger.
Then the second brother got a little more creative and came up with the “Hyden Hooves Ranch.” That name got a lot of consideration, but in the end they canned it.
Finally, the third brother, the youngest one, said he’d thought of the perfect name for their ranch. “Let’s name it the “Focus Ranch,” he explained.
“The Focus Ranch?” both of his brothers questioned. “How does that name reflect our situation?” they chimed.
The young brother grinned and explained. “Well ‘focus’ is where the ‘sun’s rays meet’ — and that’s what we three sons do here — raise meat.”
I’m pretty sure that’s the name they went with.
***
Well, Christmas and New Year’s Eve are gone. We’ve see the shortest day of the year. Summer is on its way. So, don’t forget where you’ve got your T-shirts and tank tops stored away. We’re headed toward warmer weather.
However, before we have to worry about sun burn, we’ll probably have to worry about frostbite. My ol’ pappy, Czar E. Yield, always said, “When the days begin to lengthen, the cold begins to strengthen.
***
The new shop that I’m having build is finally enclosed and weather-tight. It still needs steel on the outside, and there’s a lot of work still to do. But, at least, it’s water-tight.
***
Here are my personal words of wisdom for the week: “No one has ever lived life faster and a day at a time. That’s a fact. So, we’d all be wise to live each day as a special occasion.”
***
Welcome 2025. Ya’all make it a good ‘un.
