With the national election just a few days away, it seems to me that there is a lot of loose — sometimes hot — rhetoric being bandied about about capitalism, communism, socialism, and fascism.
Well, arguing about economic “isms” seems fruitless and hasn’t gained any traction, so how about I try humor to get an economic message across. Here it is:
With good, dependable farm labor being difficult to hire, a California almond grower jumped at the chance to hire a guy with lots of experience in almond production and harvesting.
As it turned out, the new hire was, indeed, an almond expert. He had it all down to a science. And he worked both hard and smart.
However, he had one spare time activity that the grower just chose to overlook because he was such good help. The new guy spent all his spare time attending meetings at a nearby college where he listened intently while communistic theories on equality for everyone were expounded.
This activity went on for weeks, but then suddenly the hired man stopped going to meetings and stopped talking about communism all together. Finally, the almond grower’s curiosity got the best of him and he asked his hired man why he’d quit going to the meetings.
The hired man answered, “At the last meeting I went to, the speaker explained that if all the wealth in the USA was divided up equally among all the people, the share of each person would be $20,000.”
“So what?” the grower replied.
“Well, I have $30,000,” said the hired man.
***
Here’s another economic object lesson. A farm mom was surprised when her oldest daughter came home from school and started talking about the advantages of socialism over capitalism. “Mom,” her daughter argued, “with socialism, the poor are lifted up into the middle class.”
Her mom didn’t argue. She simply said, “Hon, you asked how you could earn some money for the weekend. Well, I’ll give you $20 to clean the bathroom today.”
Her daughter jumped at the opportunity and made the bathroom spotless. But when it came time for ol’ Mom to pay up, she called all three of her youngest children into the living room and she told them, “Your big sister has learned about socialism in school and it’s about sharing the wealth equally. So, big Sis, earned $20 today, so each of you get an equal share of $5.00.”
The three youngsters cheered, but Big Sis never mentioned socialism again.
***
This is the time of the year when mice invade homes and garages and rats invade barns and sheds. And that fact made me recall a true rat control story of monumental proportion that happened long ago. It happened at one of the old wooden grain and feed elevators that used to dot the rural American countryside. The incident wuz told to me decades ago by a former employee in the elevator’s feed mixing department.
He told me that one fall the feed mill got a infestation of Norway rats worse than any old-timer could remember. They were everywhere. The employees shot the rats at night. They put out poison. But they didn’t put a dent in the rat population.
Finally, the exasperated feedmill manager decided on a drastic rat extermination strategy. He told the employees to have the feed bins and legs empty by the end of the Friday workday. He also had them plug up every hole and crack in the elevator that they could find, and make sure all the windows were closed tight.
Finally, at the close of work on Friday, he had the employees back up an anhydrous ammonia tank to a window. They put the tank’s hose through the window and sealed the window crack. Then they opened the valve on the tank just a little, slowly releasing the anhydrous into the elevator. Everyone then went home for the weekend.
Come Monday morning the employees opened all the windows and doors in the feed mill and let the facility air out. Then the manager put a driver in a 3/4 ton pickup truck and instructed him to drive under each unloading spout or door of every bin or leg in the feed mill. At each stop, when the truck wuz positioned, the employees turned on the auger or belt from each bin.
In surprise (and probably horror) they watched as thousands of dead rats continued to pile into the pickup truck. When the last bin and leg was emptied, the pickup bed was filled to overflowing with dead vermin.
The extermination plan worked to such perfection that the feed mill had never had another rat infestation until the day, years later, when the mill wuz intentionally burned down to make room for a new commercial sacked-feed building.
Guess the rat underground network wuz working overtime back in those days.
***
Well, dang it, a good frost finally put my second-planting garden to an end. I got quite a bit of produce from it, but a few more frost-free days would have given me a bumper crop of new tomatoes. Now, I’m trying to find someone who wants to do something with green tomatoes.
I’ve already pulled all the green bean and yard-long bean plants and put them into the compost pile. Same with the pepper plants. I cut the frosted vines off the sweet potatoes and they are ready to dig when I get the inclination. I’ve still got to dispose of all the dead tomato plants and trellises and the okra plants. I still have to dig the Jerusalem artichokes which is a first for me. And, I’ve got to store away all the drip irrigation lines.
The frost didn’t kill the peas and they are still producing nicely, as are the radishes and spinach.
***
The Kansas City Royals’ baseball finally came to an end. They had a great, entertaining season for Nevah and me. Our hope springs eternal for next year’s team.
A funny thing happened last week. I participate in an online contest to pick the winners of 15 college football contests each week. There’s no prize. Just braggin’ rights. And I got to brag last week because I won the contest. And, I’m ranked third for the year. Just proves even a blind sow finds an acorn every once in a while.
***
Words of wisdom for the week: “We as parents and grandparents insist that our kids learn the value of a dollar while growing up. Then we wonder why our kids and grandkids are so depressed. Have a good ‘un.
