Dylan Yoder
Columnist
Halloween is officially over, and you know what that means. Christmas. Just kidding, I understand that many of you out there would get up in arms about that statement. My own sister is one of those wacky people. However, all things come in due time. We must let Autumn run its course regardless of how much we wish the humming of Christmas tunes was socially acceptable. With all that being said, it’s important to note that, while things are not exactly as they used to be, things are getting better. Our world today is still much the same as before, we just had a few bumps along the road. Not all of those bumps have to be sad, or frustrating, or COVID oriented. As a matter of fact, there are other bits of news here and there that are far more entertaining than a virus that’s overstayed its welcome.
Starting off with a brand new crazy story straight from our own Federal Government. As most of you know, laws are weird, commonly have loopholes, and are way too frustrating for the average individual to think about. One of these “loopholes” was exploited earlier in October to identify 80 hippos as legal persons to the government. These hippos or “Cocaine Hippos” were once owned by Columbian drug lord Pablo Escobar and were at one point, well, the name says it all. After Escobar’s death, these hippos were set free and have now increased their numbers to around 80. With the population getting out of control people began to get worried, and a plan was taken up to eliminate some of the population. Obviously, people did not like this plan, but because hippos could not testify in court, there was not much to be done. That is until a court decided to determine that herd of hippos to be the first non-human legal people. Before you ask, no, hippos did not actually enter a courtroom. Their lives were saved though.
With the end of the spooky season comes… more spooky news? I’m not sure, but you can take this next bit of information however you’d like. Towards the end of last month, several former high-level officials and “deep-black” scientists sat at a panel called “To The Stars Academy of Arts & Science” (TTS/AAS). If you thought that sounded oddly sci-fi, just wait till you hear this next part. The panel that has been “operating under the shadows of top-secrecy for decades” believe that “there is sufficient credible evidence of UAP that proves exotic technologies exist that could revolutionize the human experience”. Now, to be frank, I found all of this rather exceptional and only a little bit over the top. As such, I’d encourage you to do your own research if interested. Regardless, it’s still an exciting concept to be sure. Perhaps this will be the start to more openness to the public from the government about such things.
In local wackiness, well, there ain’t much. Y’all aren’t as wacky as one would imagine. I’m sure we can all agree that family gatherings during the Thanksgiving season are going to be wacky enough for all of us. Just thinking of Thanksgiving is enough to get me hungry for it. Just wait, these three weeks will fly by sooner than you can take note of them.
Overall, wacky things happen all the time, in our own lives and in the lives of the people around us. Especially in these times, when you never quite know who you should be trusting or ignoring. Regardless, be sure to have a good day today, and make the most of the “pre-Christmas” season.
