Aggie Wish List

"Laugh Tracks in the Dust"

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Hardly a day goes by that there isn’t scientific news somewhere about a new advancement in genetic manipulation. For instance, recent news said that scientists are genetically modifying pigs so their internal organs can be successfully transplanted into needy humans.

The seed industry has for years used genetic manipulation to create new seeds that offer improvements in crop growth, yields and quality.

Likewise, the meat animal sector of agriculture has for years been doing genetic manipulation through cloning, embryo transplants, disease prevention, new crossbreds, etc.

All the above discussion about aggie genetic manipulations got me to thinking about an “Aggie Wish List” for still newer genetic manipulations that could solve some big and persistent problems for crop and livestock production.

Through a process called “CRISPR gene editing,” scientists can often clip and splice specific-trait genes from one organism to another. So, I’m advocating to use CRISPR technology to achieve my Aggie Wish List. Here’s the list of problems I’m talking about and my suggested genetic solutions.

• Eastern Redcedar invasion: Cedar trees are overtaking many productive farm and ranch lands. The trees are ugly, virtually worthless, nutritionally-void, rapidly-spreading, fire-fostering, water-sucking landscape parasites.

I want science to solve this problem by splicing highly-nutritious alfalfa genes into cedar trees, thereby making the cedar needles as palatable and nutritious as alfalfa hay. Just think about seeing cattle herds, sheep flocks, even deer herds fighting to devour cedar trees.

And, scientists can go one step further and splice genes for giraffe long legs and long necks into meat goats so those new edible critters can graze on the tops of cedar trees. My suggested name for the new meat animal is the Giroat.

Why, with this new technology, within a decade pastures throughout the land will be more productive and profitable.

• Sericea lespedeza and Caucasian Bluestem: These two aggressively invasive plants are endangering the highly productive rangelands of the Flint Hills. Cattle will scarcely touch sericea. It’s hopelessly expensive eradicate with herbicides. Caucasian Bluestem, likewise, is almost inedible for cattle. It replaces the nutritious native rangeland grasses like big and little bluestem, Indiangrass, switchgrass, and side-oats gramma.

So, scientists could partially fulfill my Aggie Wish List by splicing the nutrition genes and nitrogen-fixing genes of red clover into sericea. Then grazers would prefer it. The new grass would provide nitrogen for the soil, too. To improve Caucasian Bluestem, I request that the genes for eastern gama grass, which cattle love, be spliced into the plants. With just those suggested improvements, the invasive species encroachment into the Flint Hills would be solved.

• Cockleburs, pigweed and bindweed: These three immensely costly, absolutely worthless weeds are chronically impossible to eliminate from U.S. crop fields. So, solving that problem is high on my Aggie Wish List. Genetic manipulation can come to the rescue.How about scientists splice the cocklebur gene for easy growth in any soil, and the pigweed genes for prolificacy and abundant yields, and the bindweed gene for persistency and deep-rooted drought resistance into our standard grain crops of wheat, corn, soybeans, and grain sorghum? That way all those crops immediately become more prolific and profitable.

Then they splice the weak genes from a mamby-pamby plant like an orchid — that’s about impossible to keep alive — into the three worthless weeds. That way within one growing season under harsh field conditions, the miserable three weeds will wither and die out forever.

• Johnsongrass: Johnsongrass, which should be the state grass of Oklahoma, is a persistent nuisance grass that thrives in fields, fence-lines and road ditches. However, it is highly prolific and hardy, but not very nutritious for grazing. So, on my Aggie Wish List is having the best traits of sugar cane spliced into Johnsongrass. That way cattlemen have a new, easy-to-propagate, highly nutritious grass for their cattle.

• Crabgrass and Foxtail: Folks trying to have presentable lawns have been fighting crabgrass and foxtail forever. Both nuisance grasses are annuals, ugly, drought resistant, and highly efficient seed producers. So, gene spicing to the rescue on my Aggie Wish List.

The gene-manipulators should splice the genes for lovely green color and nice texture from Kentucky bluegrass and the genes for drought resistance and aggressive growth in bermudagrass and splice them into the crabgrass and foxtail. The world would end up with a wonderfully green, fine-textured, drought-resistant lawn grass. And a new market would open up. I suggest naming the new grass Perfecto.

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The last item on my Aggie Wish List has nuthin’ to do with genetics, but everything to do with the profitability of the nation’s farms and ranches. That item is commodity price.

Every year the U.S. spends vast sums of money to improve crop and livestock productivity. And, admittedly, progress is made incrementally. But, sadly, history shows that increases in productivity have minor correlation to profitability. One day’s downturn on the commodity boards of trade can wipe out all the profitability made from decades of productivity gains.

So, it’s clear the real progress to be made in profitability is to improve commodity prices. But, I’ve yet to see an economic research project with the stated goal of improving prices. Increasing ag exports has proven unreliable for improving profits. Increasing domestic use to improve price is equally spotty.

Nope, the answer to aggie profitability lies in national policy. And, I’ve yet to see a thin research dime spent trying to find and enact a national farm commodity price policy.

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So, I admit, all the items on my Aggie Wish List are fantastical and doomed from the start.

Wish lists are seldom every fulfilled. But, that doesn’t keep me from wishing.

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Finally, I got a real good soaking rain. Good for my newly-planted lawn. Bad for my shop under construction. Gotta take the bad with the good.

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My words of wisdom for this week are: “We’ve turned back our clocks to standard time. The election is over. Now America needs to turn back to a time of standard politics.”

Have a good ‘un.

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