What’s in a name?

Laugh Tracks in the Dust

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Every once in a while one of my faithful readers comments on the wide range of friends that I’ve mentioned in my columns. And, it’s true. After writing this column every week for more than 50 years, I’ve interacted with, (or simply created out of thin air) rural folks who cover about every aspect of farming, ranching and agribusiness — and the professionals who interact with aggies.

So, that got me to thinking that perhaps this week would be a good time to review the descriptive names of some of my favorite folks who I’ve written about down through the years. Here’s the names that pop up in my memory.

Of course, I’ve got to start off with my long-suffering wife, Nevah Yield.

And, my long-departed good ol’ dad, Czar E. Yield, who at times had difficulty achieving good crop yields on his farm, but still managed to earn two different county soil conservation awards.

Harley Ryder is my motorcycle-loving son-in-law.

Nick deHyde is my careless Iowa sheep shearing buddy and the poor sheep pay the price.

Phil Tanks delivered my propane for years.

Kleenan Baggitt operated a fine seed cleaning business.

Hayes T. Speaker cried many an auction — both big and small.

Saul M. Reeder wuz a devout lay minister in the Lutheran Church who I respected for his deep-seated beliefs.

Canby Handy and his wife May Bea Handy are old friends who can easily handle any task that they encounter.

Howie Doin wuz an old friend who never met a person he didn’t want to engage in conversation.

Armin Cider is the best dairy cow artificial inseminator that I ever met.

Parker Loosely is a farmer friend who learned from sad experience the cost of not setting the emergency brake on his pickup truck.

Sawyer Bord is a retired carpenter extraordinaire who could take a pile of lumber and build you a fantastic set of kitchen cabinets.

Moecephas wuz like Hank Williams, Jr. All his rowdy friends had settled down, but he still enjoyed fishing and card playing.

Avery Ware is a retired county extension agent who worked in the same county all his professional life and could be relied upon to show up everywhere he wuz needed.

Dr. Polk N. Prod handled all my medical problems for many years.

Dr. Pillson Vax wuz my reliable veterinarian for years.

Willie Makitt is a Missouri farmer who always claimed he could build in his farm shop about any thing he needed on his farm.

P.N. Cilpusher, of course, wuz my long-time tax guru and financial advisor.

Lon G. Horner wuz a pre-eminent breeder and exhibitor of longhorn cattle.

Bob Doff is my newest friend in Riley. He self-describes himself as “height challenged.”

Finn N. Furrs has established premier wildlife habitat on his Flint Hills farm. He is a natural resource conservationist of the highest oder, and a good quail shot, too.

Rocky Crick is a Flint Hills rancher who out of necessity has become highly experienced at repairing washed-out water gaps.

Faren Wyde operates a Flint Hills ranch with a hill so high it seems a person can see forever from the top.

Claude Hopper is my farmer-friend and old college roommate who quit turning the clods on his farm several years ago and retired.

Myris Snipedown could be counted on to get any vehicle he wuz driving either stuck in the mud or high-centered. He never left home without a chain.

Nutson Boltz runs a farmer-friendly small-town hardware. He stocks anything you need for the farm, ranch, garden or home.

Nalon Shews is a farrier with a satisfied equine clientele far and wide.

Rapsum Tite makes big round hay bales perfect for shipping on a flatbed semi.

Phil M. Rodeholes does his best as maintaining county gravel roads, but still gets more gripes than complaints from the folks who have to drive over them.

Canlay Rox is a stonemason who, for the right price, can turn a pile of ugly limestone into an bragging-rights home that will stand for centuries.

Ike N. Ketchem operates the headgate of a cattle chute better than anyone. He’s the feedlots’s man in charge of working newly-arrived cattle.

Buzz N. Comb wuz the small-town barber who cut my hair when I wuz a little kid. I still recall enjoying the Garst & Thomas outdoor-themed calendars in his shop.

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Well, that’s sufficient names of friends for this week. Perhaps more in another future column.

Next column I’ll be reliving a memorable trip that ol’ Canby Handy and I took this week to Ainsworth, Neb.,

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Words of political wisdom for this week straight from the mouth of my friend, ol’

Wright deLaws, a state senator in the Nebraska unicameral legislature. He said, “I’ve learned that 70 percent of the voters are totally ignorant about who they vote for. And, I’m just glad that I’m in the other 40 percent.”

Have a good ‘un.

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