A recent land-grant university graduate, Miss Dee Poynt, eagerly, and nervously, anticipates her first actual real agribusiness job interview. She drives to the company headquarters and meets the company’s human resource director.
At the beginning of the job interview the HR director asks Ms. Poynt where she grew up. She replies, somewhat embarrassed, that she grew up on a remote ranch in the midst of a vast prairie.
The HR director presses on, “Well, just where is your hometown located in this vast prairie.”
Ms. Poynt earnestly answers, “Frankly, it just isn’t near anything.”
Based upon her honestly and credentials, Miss Dee Point, landed her first career job.
***
I often hear funny stories that I question whether or not they are suitable for my column. This is one of those stories. I question it’s suitability, but it’s just too funny not to use. So, here goes:
A young farmer is facing an abundance of problems — both family and financial. So, he chooses a questionable path to solve his problems: Go to his local bar, The Dew Drop Inn, and contemplate all his problems and sort through his options while drinking an abundance of beer.
He arrives at the bar around noon and tells the bartender that he will sit in the corner booth by himself, that he doesn’t want to be bothered, except for the barkeep to bring him a fresh mug of draft beer every half-hour promptly — keep a tab and he’ll pay when he’s “through thinking.”
So, even though it’s a strange request, the barkeeper keeps his end of the deal and delivers a fresh mug of beer promptly every half hour.
At seven o’clock in the evening, a new bartender starts his night shift and the first barkeep leaves — but not before giving the new bartender instructions to take a fresh mug of beer every half-hour to the guy alone in the corner booth — and add them to the guy’s tab.
“Oh, and one last thing,” the first bartender tells his replacement, “The guy has been drinking two mugs an hour since noon and hasn’t went to the bathroom yet.”
So, the evening wears on with no change — a new mug to the guy every half-hour. Still, no bathroom trip from the guy. Finally, it’s one a.m. and time to close the bar. So, the bartender politely tells the young farmer it’s time to leave and pay his sizable tab.
The young farmer quietly gets up, pays his tab, and heads out the door just ahead of the bartender, who turns to lock the door to the bar.
When the barkeep turns around, the young farmer is unzipping his jeans at the curb.
“Hey,” the bartender yells. “You can’t pee here at the curb.”
The young farmer looks up at him and said, “I won’t, I promise. I’m gonna pee out there in the middle of the street.”
If that story offended you, I hope you get over it soon — after you chuckle.
***
No person on television gets berated more than the weatherperson at a TV station in the middle of farm and ranch country.
If his or her weather forecast is erroneous with any degree of regularity, he or she is sure to get criticized by letter, text, e-mail, Twitter, InstaGram, or by abusive phone calls.
Well, one such weatherman finally got so irritated with the too-frequent criticisms of his lack of weather forecasting skills that he abruptly turned in his resignation.
Station management asked his reason for quitting. The weatherman replied, “The climate and weather in this part of the country just doesn’t agree with me.”
***
Fall is the time of the year when a young man’s fancy turns to things other than love. Here’s a story to prove the point:
A Missouri farm boy had a few dates with a girl attending a nearby girls’ college.
A few weeks passed and, when the guy didn’t make any attempt to continue dating, the co-ed sent him a text that read: “Dead, delayed or disinterested?”
She promptly received this reply text: “Hunting, fishing, or trapping.”
I doubt that the relationship went beyond those texts.
***
Words of wisdom for the week: “Inflation is when today’s outrageous prices become tomorrow’s cheap bargains.
And, “Conscience doesn’t keep you from doing anything wrong. But, it sure keeps you from enjoying it.”
Have a good ‘un.
