I should have known better than to tempt fate. You’ll recall that two weeks ago I wrote that electric garage door openers and computers were, in my humble opinion, the two most aggravating, supposedly labor-saving, contrivances ever invented by man. At the time my garage door openers were giving me expensive fits.
Well, the garage door openers started working fine and I thought my troubles were over, but, no-o-o-o, I should have known better. Sure enuf, last Tuesday, my formerly-trusty eight-year-old Apple computer shot craps while I wuz reading an online news story — I mean kaput, finished, done, fried, frozen up. It wouldn’t restart, restore, or reboot.
So, Wednesday morning, I ended up taking the broken contraption to the computer hospital in Kansas City where I left it for hopeful repair and returned home — total round trip 230 miles. The next day the computer doctor called and declared my computer wuz in a permanent, electronically-induced computer coma and it would take $400 of parts and labor, plus five working days, to get it fixed.
So, on Friday, ol’ Nevah and I headed for KC at 8 a.m., and after talking to the computer doctor decided it made more sense to simply buy a new computer and have the data transferred from my old hard drive to the new computer. Problem wuz, apparently my backup system on the old computer had not done its job since March of 2016. Well, it took all day for the computer doctor to transfer data from my backup and from my old hard drive. I think most of my data wuz saved, but I’m not sure about that.
While we were waiting in KC for the new computer to be finalized, we went to the Oak Park Mall to spend some time at a Barnes and Noble bookstore, stroll around the mall, eat at the food court, and watch the upstanding citizens of Kansas City at their shopping leisure. Folks, I felt like an alien in my own country. I clearly didn’t fit in.
I also had a first hand opportunity to watch the computer/information technology slice of humanity at work at the computer doctor store. All those folks — while helpful and friendly — were clearly living in a different world than I am.
After spending nearly all of two days in Kansas City, spending $1,700 for the new computer and labor costs, traveling almost 500 miles, we arrived home last night at 8:30 p.m. Surprisingly, at least to me, the new computer is working well enuf this morning (Saturday) that I’m getting this column written.
I hope I never get the urge to tempt fate again.
***
Here’s a funny true story. My good county extension agent friend, ol’ Avery Ware, has a son Noah Ware who lives in Wichita. Well, Noah and his good wife attended last week’s football game at Bea Wilder U and on their way home they stopped at a convenience store to use the restrooms and buy a couple of snacks.
Noah looked over the array of pre-packaged foods available and selected what he thought wuz a Slim Jim — a hard, spicym dried-up, hotdog-looking snack. When his wife saw what Noah had picked for his snack, she thought it looked tasty and decided to get a Slim Jim, too.
However, within a few seconds she came back to the cash register counter laughing like the dickens. “Noah,” she said, “You’re getting ready to eat a doggie treat.”
Sure enuf. Noah came within a whisker of chowing down a treat made for a dog. Another good example of a reckless man being saved by an observant wife.
***
I squeezed in the time this week between trips to Kansas City to do a sad job for me. I picked all the ripe and green tomatoes and all the peppers before the predicted hard frost and tore down the tomato trellises and planted the gardens to “chicken greens” for the winter. We did have a hard frost last night, so I suspect the cold weather will set back the chicken greens. They may not even sprout until spring. We’ll see.
I gave all the tomatoes and peppers to my neighbors and some folks in town who can use the extra groceries. I saved enuf tomatoes and peppers for a couple of weeks, but it’s sad to realize that the next homegrown tomatoes are at least nine months away.
***
Well, this column came real close to not being written at all. So, I’m gonna sign off for the week with some astute observations about life.
• The closest most folks ever get to a 4.0 during college is their blood alcohol content.
• I live in my own little world, but it’s OK. Everyone knows me there and accepts me for the way I am.
• I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect by just standing up really fast.
• I don’t like political jokes. I’ve seen too many get elected from both parties.
• The most precious thing we all have is life, yet it has no trade-in value.
• If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
• Isn’t having a smoking section in a public place like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
And, finally, ever notice that folks who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
Get ready for winter and have a good ‘un.
