Last week I pulled a fun, harmless, but a tad nasty, little prank on an innocent person.
An upstanding young feller in our community works in town, but still helps out on his family’s farm. He also happens to have a girl friend. This is a story about him/them.
A couple of weeks ago on a beautiful, sunny Sunday, ol’ Nevah and I decided to attend a women’s basketball game at my alma mater, Bea Wilder U. As we were sitting in the stands, during a time out, the crowd camera panned through the fans — putting people’s faces up on the big screen above the floor.
Well, I happened to glance up at the screen just in time to see the young feller in this story and his girl friend’s faces flash up on the big screen. They were just innocently sitting there minding their own business.
But, just seeing the young couple on the screen, put my devious old mind to work, because, often, but not at that game, the same crowd-scanning camera becomes a “Kiss Cam” — that is, any couple who shows up on the screen is obliged to plant a kiss on each other to share with the crowd.
So, I hatched my prank. The next week I “happened” to have business at the young man’s place of employment. All the employees are locals and they all know each other well.
During my business transaction, I “happened” to see the young man in question and I yelled at him, plenty loud enuf for the other employees to hear, “Hey, I saw you and your lady friend at the Bea Wilder U. women’s basketball game last Sunday.”
He smiled and replied, “You did? We didn’t see you.”
“Well,” I said, “I didn’t actually see you, but I saw the pair of you on the Kiss Cam during a time out. And, let me tell you, you put a real mugging on her. I haven’t see such an intense mugging since the last ranch rodeo I attended. The Kiss Cam stayed on you for a long, long time before you came up for air.”
About that time, all the employees who could hear me started giggling and laughing, realizing the scam I wuz pulling on him.
As for the young man, I think he flushed a bit, but he took the entire schtick with a good natured grain of salt, for which I’m glad becuz he’s a lot bigger than me.
It wuz a dirty little trick, I admit, but it wuz all in fun. Now, it might not be so fun for me the next time I see his girlfriend.
***
Spring has got to be just around the corner because all the killdeer’s are back at my pond and running around on our gravel driveway. They’re always the first spring birds to arrive at Damphewmore Acres. I’ve also seen a few advance-guard robins in the yard and I expect any morning to see a huge flock of robins in the yard on their way north.
I tried fishing for the first time this year, and got skunked. I think the fish will bite on occasion now, but I know they’re waiting for the water to warm a bit before they get really active.
***
The fire danger is high right now. We’re got a lot of tinder in the Flint Hills just waiting until this spring’s fire season. With all the grass left in the pastures from last year’s good growing season, the fires this season are sure to be hot and effective in killing unwanted brush in the rangeland.
And, the fire season will be more dangerous, too. Just last week a couple of knuckleheads drove through the eastern Flint Hills intentionally setting grass fires.
I don’t know if they’ve been apprehended or not, but I hope so because wildfires are nothing to play around with.
And, while I’m talking about the fire season, despite the best efforts of ranchers to comply with federal air quality standards, the feds just keep coming up with more restrictions. This year they’ve lowered the air quality threshold by five parts per million in the air, while expanding the “window” during which they’ll be measuring air quality in Kansas City and other urban areas.
You’d think the feds would be more cooperative when it comes to finding ways to burn the Flint Hills safely for all concerned. After all, without annual fire, eventually the beautiful, productive Flint Hills native grasslands will give way to unsightly, unproductive brush, cedars and hedge trees.
***
Been watching the political debates in the boob tube. All I can say is “ugh!” They’re not true debates, but shouting, insulting matches. We, the people, deserve better. It’s going to be a long time before this election is settled in November, and there’s gonna be a lot of fallout and long-term ramifications.
***
Gotta go for now. I’ll get off my soapbox and leave you with these words of wisdom from Facebook: “Sometimes the thoughts in my head get bored and go for a stroll through my mouth. That’s never a good thing.”
Also, “The fact there’s a highway to hell and a stairway to Heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic.”
And, “The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.”
And, finally, “If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.”
Have a good ‘un.
